I couldn’t help but laugh at this Buzzfeed article – 21 Food Truths that only Northerners will Understand. So I thought, as a fully fledged northerner, I would comment on them*:
You know there is no meal more delicious than chip shop chips covered in chip shop gravy – sometimes this is very true. At no other time would I have gravy with fish but I will happily do that when going to the chippy.
And that the only way to serve fish and chips is with mushy peas and scraps – not so, see above. Although I do love mushy peas but I cannot stand scraps (bits of batter that are collected from the fryer and served on top of your chips )
You know that this is what a proper pub lunch looks like (see article image) – I disagree but it’s a bloody good looking Sunday dinner.
And there’s no such thing as too much ketchup – erm, yes, there is if you are over 10 years old.
But most importantly, you know that any pub that serves up something that looks like this is bullshit (see article image) – I can clarify that northerners do eat antipasti and meals other than big piles of carbs/grease.
As a northerner, you appreciate the importance of double carbs – Rice AND chips? The only time I do this is when ordering a Chinese takeaway as I can’t resist their chips no matter what I’m eating.
You’ve eaten a fair few chip butties in your time – yes, haven’t we all?
And you make a damn good butter pie – No idea! You?
You know that the best way to cure a hangover is with an ice-cold can of Vimto – is it? Do people still drink Vimto?
And the best way to cure a cold is with a mug of the hot stuff – see above. No it isn’t, it’s hot whiskey and lemonade.
You know that this is what a proper Yorkshire pudding looks like (see article image or mine below) – CORRECT!
You know this is called a barm (see article image) – it’s not, it is a bread bun, although the majority of people I know would call it a bread cake.
This is the greatest meal ever invented (see article image) – it can’t be, I don’t even know what that is.
And that nothing cheers you up quite like a homemade shepherd’s pie – agreed, it is one of many good comfort foods.
You know that the picture on the left is a real cup of tea, whereas the picture on the right is a mug of hot, green water (you only need your imagination for what these images look like) – I don’t mind both but I can categorically state I don’t get excited about a cup of tea.
And you know the picture on the left is a coffee, while the picture on the right is a small cup of fancy milk – I like ‘fancy milk’
As a northerner, you know exactly where to go for an iced bun – images show Pound Bakery (never been in), Sayers (never heard of it) and Greggs (come on, who hasn’t been in greggs) but I haven’t had an iced bun since I used to put too much ketchup on my food.
You’ll always have time for a slice of parkin – ooh parkin, I’ve not had any in years, I need to make some parkin, I hope it’s as good as my Nan’s used to be.
And you know what real treacle toffee taste like – yeah, YUK!
You understand that the picture on the left is of a pie, whereas the picture on the right shows a casserole with a pastry lid on it (see article image) – Aw, northerners, and they cute with their non fancy ways. Both pies.
But most importantly, you know you should always get change from a fiver for a pint – where I live I want change from four quid!
So there you go. Us northerners, we don’t like sophisticated stuff!**
*all opinions are my own
** I know the article is tongue in cheek